We only got to have 13 weeks with our baby. In that time I learned so much. I quickly learned that Altoids were my best friend :) I learned what it felt like to truly care for someone else. My favorite thing to do was to find out how big Baby G was and what he/she would have been learning and developing that week.
But, the biggest thing I learned was that I could love deeper than I ever thought possible. Not only did I love Baby G with every fiber of my being, I also fell deeper in love with Mark. We've been together for almost 9 years and I finally understand what people mean when they say they love their spouse more and more everyday. Before the pregnancy ended, I would tell Mark goodnight and that Baby G and I loved him very much. He would kiss my tummy and tell me how much he loved us. Since Baby G has been gone, I feel so much closer to him than I have during our entire relationship.
This whole thought process led me to the fact that the only thing Baby G knew in this life was love. He will never have to feel fear, sadness, anger, hate, malice, or pain. He only knew and will always know love. That's the greatest gift Mark and I could have ever given him. Now Baby G is in Heaven and only knows God's love and that's far greater than Mark and I could ever give.
I like to think that Baby G is able to watch us from above and see how close he made his mommy and daddy. He provided us with so much happiness when we got to spend that brief time together. We loved him with everything we have and will continue to love him as long as we live. When he left us, he took a piece of our hearts and that spot will ALWAYS be his.
If I could talk to him for 5 minutes, I would tell him that we love him so incredibly much that there are no words to describe it. I would also tell him that we're going to be okay. He provided a bond for Mark and I that can never be broken. We're making it through this together and can't wait to spend eternity in Heaven with him.