It's been 2 weeks since we found out that we lost Baby G. It feels like an eternity has passed. It's hard to see new moms with their babies. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them. But I can't help to think that that should have been us.
I'm doing much better than I thought I would be doing at this point. I still cry everyday. But it's easier to move on when I start feeling down.
There's a lot of tension going on at work right now. So, I'm going through all the hormonal changes, plus losing our baby, plus work crap that really doesn't even matter in the big scheme of things. But, I've got a GREAT support group with our families. So, I know I'll keep trudging through it all.
We're still not ready to do the whole hanging out with friends thing. I just don't know if I can take the constant, "How are you doing," or "Are you okay." It's nothing personal against anyone. But I don't know if I'll really ever be ready to talk about these feelings with anyone but Mark, my family, and my nearest, dearest friends. I don't want to have to look into faces that are full of pity. It's just a reminder of what was lost.
So, if we politely turn down an outing, don't take offense. We'll be ready someday, but we still need our time :)