Friday, August 31, 2012

Let's not do that again!

We had a bit of a scare yesterday at our midwife appointment. Before I start, everything turned out okay!

I had my final ultrasound with the midwife scheduled for yesterday afternoon. Long story short, Baby Girl's heart beat was in the 190s. They hooked us up to the monitors and her heart rate was constant in the 190s. I honestly don't know for how long. It dragged on an on, but I'd guess around 10-15 minutes. It started going down, but it was still high.

I met with the doctor and she went through the monitor and she told us that she wanted us to go to the hospital for a longer monitoring. She listened to Baby Girl's heart beat with the Doppler and it was in the 150s and never went near 190.

We got to the hospital and they hooked us up again. Everything was fine. Her heart rate stayed normal for the 2 hours we were being monitored. I was also having contractions during the monitoring. They were pretty sporadic, but they were happening frequently.

We are so happy that everything turned out okay. But please keep Baby Girl in your prayers. We don't want this to happen again!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

35 weeks 4 days

I cannot believe that we are close to a month before we are holding baby girl in our arms! Our house is looking a little more prepared for baby, but there's still stuff to do. We've finished our Lamaze class, so we know how to get her out. We've finished our breastfeeding class, so we know how to feed her. All that's left is a deep clean of the house and waiting for things to arrive in the mail :) We are also going grocery shopping this weekend so that I can make some meals ahead of time and put them in the freezer for after she gets here. I have a few more things to pack in our hospital bags, but then we're ready to go!

At our last appointment, baby girl weighed 5lbs 13oz She went from being in the 41% to 62%. If she gains the 2-2.5lbs that she should gain, she'll be a little over 8 lbs at birth. We got a couple more 3D photos of her on Tuesday. She looks the same as the first but she's DEFINITELY put on some pudginess :) Her cheeks are to die for! So much fluff I love it!

I don't feel like I look like I should be 35 weeks, but at least I finally look pregnant! I can reach my feet, but it's not the most comfortable thing in the world breathing wise. So, Mark gets to paint my toes. He does a FABULOUS job ;) Sleeping is harder, but it's not too bad. I get whiny sometimes. But I'm always grateful to  be carrying this little one.

I've been CRAZY tired! Like I can easily knock out a 3 hour nap each morning. Mark says that he can't wait for the nesting to kick in ;) I can't either because I've got stuff to do! All of her clothes are washed and put away. Her room is arranged. Everything for her is ready to go. Now we're just waiting on her.

I created a pool on facebook to guess when she might make her arrival :) Good luck.........the only prize is bragging rights. It's the "Simple Baby Pool" app.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

To my darling daughter

A different child,

People notice
There's a special glow around you.
You grow
...Surrounded by love,
Never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and joy
in your mother and father's eyes.
And if sometimes
Between the smiles
There's a trace of tears,
One day
You'll understand.
You'll understand
There was once another child
A different child
Who was in their hopes and dreams.
That child will never outgrow the baby clothes
That child will never keep them up at night
In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.
Except sometimes, in a silent moment,
When mother and father miss so much
That different child.
May hope and love wrap you warmly
And may you learn the lesson forever
How infinitely precious
How infinitely fragile
Is this life on earth
One day, as a young man or woman
You may see another mother's tears
Another father's silent grief
Then you, and you alone
Will understand
And offer the greatest comfort.
When all hope seems lost,
You will tell them
With great compassion,
"I know how you feel.
I'm only here
Because my mother tried again."

Written by Pandora Diane MacMillan

I saw this on a group I'm in and thought it was just beautiful. Any parent who has lost a baby due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or SIDs has to deal with the dichotomy of loss and life simultaneously. We would not be having our daughter had Baby G not grown wings last September. I feel blessed and sad all at the same time. I feel guilty for being happy.....I feel guilty for feeling sad. I just know that God has given me this baby girl to put a band-aid over the wound left by losing Baby G.

A baby born after a loss is considered a "Rainbow Baby." The only way that this rainbow showed up was because of a storm. The rainbow does not take away the damage from the storm, but it gives hope and comfort following the storm.

I hope one day I convey to our daughter that she is truly my gift from God and I will ALWAYS see her as such.