Wednesday, August 1, 2012

To my darling daughter

A different child,

People notice
There's a special glow around you.
You grow
...Surrounded by love,
Never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and joy
in your mother and father's eyes.
And if sometimes
Between the smiles
There's a trace of tears,
One day
You'll understand.
You'll understand
There was once another child
A different child
Who was in their hopes and dreams.
That child will never outgrow the baby clothes
That child will never keep them up at night
In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.
Except sometimes, in a silent moment,
When mother and father miss so much
That different child.
May hope and love wrap you warmly
And may you learn the lesson forever
How infinitely precious
How infinitely fragile
Is this life on earth
One day, as a young man or woman
You may see another mother's tears
Another father's silent grief
Then you, and you alone
Will understand
And offer the greatest comfort.
When all hope seems lost,
You will tell them
With great compassion,
"I know how you feel.
I'm only here
Because my mother tried again."

Written by Pandora Diane MacMillan

I saw this on a group I'm in and thought it was just beautiful. Any parent who has lost a baby due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or SIDs has to deal with the dichotomy of loss and life simultaneously. We would not be having our daughter had Baby G not grown wings last September. I feel blessed and sad all at the same time. I feel guilty for being happy.....I feel guilty for feeling sad. I just know that God has given me this baby girl to put a band-aid over the wound left by losing Baby G.

A baby born after a loss is considered a "Rainbow Baby." The only way that this rainbow showed up was because of a storm. The rainbow does not take away the damage from the storm, but it gives hope and comfort following the storm.

I hope one day I convey to our daughter that she is truly my gift from God and I will ALWAYS see her as such.

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